My first job was in the Creative Dept of Gods Inc.
First project: 'Create a God'.
"A do-gooder with a miserable life?"
"Boring," the Boss said. "That won't achieve widespread #credence these days."
"An anti-heroine with one good act and plenty to curse about?"
"Hmm"
#vss365
Got up at 3 and chased the moon
To the temple of 'Ma-Woman',
The god before the superheroes,
The tsunami didn't touch there,
Even as it took souls all around,
We tie bells on trees and hope,
No #snollygosters lying there,
A few fools took selfies,
They can be shooed away,
1/2
Mine or port will take that,
We will join the other bhumiputr
Never the majority or minority,
Another god buried alive,
Drowned in damned dams,
Their silence taken to be #velleity,
But listen!
From Everest to Diego Garcia
They will rise and we the error erased.
#vss365
2/2
The temple sweet on a banana leaf made the fingers that held it near a mature bosom look lovely.
She tripped.
Did a quick 2 and a half turn, half a #fandango, caught the flying item with my right. She crashed against my back.
"Saved it!" Had half of it.
She scowled.
#vss365
It was such a sweet daydream.
I was murdering all those who had hurt me.
God, typing names fast, muttered softly, “Give me more.”
Heard Devil whisper to God, "Could you put this under #dysania or clinomania? No autopsy, please."
Woke up.
I'm the murdered one.
#vss365
I was in a ghost house,
A guest not the ghost,
then,
Creaking doors, cobweb, meow and a woof,
Blood seeping, footsteps and shadows with no body,
And now,
Homeless, still faceless, scareless,
Still no #snollygoster, us no smelly rat,
Quite active on social media,
Boo.
#vss365
It's confirmed.
I'm bloody old.
I'm sure about everything I say.
I've not done one bad thing.
I've photos and anecdotes to prove I was the best.
If you ask me if it's #vermilion or muskmelon,
I'll share a better 3-syllable colour.
Don't call me an ol' goofy.
Not yet.
#vss365
The week before the wedding, we exchanged honest truths.
She told me she had a crush on Taylor Swift. In return, I revealed how I lost my virginity to my first love.
She found that that's fictitious.
The #limerence of the honest with truth is quite often an oxymoron.
#vss365
Life and love ended
With a cake au #muskmelon.
A stab well-disguised.
#vss365
#haiku #senryu ?
We had been acquaintances, friends, confidantes, lover of others. Never enemies.
Then came the touch whispering forever, the smile on those lips which knew it will be everywhere.
Neither lucid nor #moonstruck, it was love and lust at first sight. Of a different kind.
#vss365
On the 12th day, we got water.
"#Discombobulated, huh?" God asked.
"That's one too many syllables for me," I said.
"Well?"
“Why aren’t you sending the torturers to Hell?"
"But this is Hell! Where beauty is destroyed; the rotten are happy; the less rotten depressed."
#vss365
Fifth day without water!
In the middle of the city!
It's a lovely New Year,
In this #exquisite place
They call God's own country,
Such woes are not for all,
For the minority in any area
There's no country no God.
#vss365
#Trivandrum
#Kerala
“Remember our first time here?” she asked.
He looked irritated and seemed to hold back some angry retort.
“All I know is that I wouldn’t want to be here and see this without..." he said. “I'm sorry."
“Me too,” she said. She turned to stare at the #abyss in front.
#vss365
from my 2018 short story about memory, lost and found, 'This Year's Trip':
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2018/12/this-years-trip-part-1.html
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2018/12/this-years-trip-part-2.html
"Good there’s no one for my birthday," I said. "Then, long before mobiles, I cursed her while waiting for her call. She couldn't find a working booth. The same next year. She was in hospital. My last."
"A #remembrance that goes well with a #sardonic smile," said no one.
#vss365
Heard a shot at 4 am. Found a wild pig on my land. Still alive. Crushed its skull. Dug deep near a fallen areca palm. Got to a human skeleton at 10ft. Placed the pig on top of that. Covered the pit. Planted an areca palm sapling.
That's to #sever ties with such.
#vss365
🧵1/3
Stripped. Stood under the spring. For a long while.
Didn't bother to dress. Walked towards a house. Entered. A lady was working on a laptop. Took her.
Later, dragged her to the kitchen. Sat on the floor. Near a French window. Had porridge and pickle.
2/3
She made a cut on my breast. Suckled the blood. Took the wild out of me.
"You are a different animal each time," she said.
She sat on my lap. We stared at our collection of hundred or so areca palms. Enemies are never cremated.
"It's time to write," she said. "Be good."
3/3
Daydreams keep me alive,
Me the Superhero,
The all-caring-no-warts lover,
With no notches on belt/bedpost,
My mojo got twisted today,
With a daydream of Me the Real,
Walking on eggshells/off to the sunset,
With the (non-unrequited!) love of my life,
#Damnable? Indeed!
#vss365
I have shifted to Suja Mansion. A makeshift 1BHK on a terrace. “It’s got history,” the young broker said. The owner didn’t recognize me.
Our little mansion. A dream turned nightmare. My Suja and my kid died here. I'm back. The terminator never allowed to be #forgetful.
#vss365
"What comes to mind with HNY?" Freud asked.
"WYMM?"
"Ach so!"
"I was 14, with 4, wishing HNY. They asked. With easy idiocy & practised unsophistication, I said No. I've asked WYMM on every HNY since, from the tragic love to the frightening #acquaintance."
"Ass ho!"
#vss365
Ready to welcome the New Year
With a broad smile and close hug,
Can't be in a better place.
Loneliness will get worse,
Old woes that defined life
Will make place for new;
Terrorists will strike thousands,
That #blood won't get the tears,
A god will flee from its idol.
#vss365
To all my friends who mute me,
Happy New Year from me mop
From a place with no water.
"My family has been communist for three generations."
"Mine the Grand Old Party."
"Seriously, guys? Are you aping them in the West with their Democrats, Republicans, Labour, Conservative? Man, there's one #depravity to avoid. Don’t be your ancestors! Learn to think."
#vss365
"This is war. Reaction has to be greater than action."
"What a #strident supporter! Sicko!"
"Kids, enough! No current affairs."
"She calls Jane Austen a feminist. Bah!"
"He says she is a realist!"
"Lizzie chose the richest guy in town, right?"
"Put down your shoe!"
#vss365
When they wanted spies, they came for us. The lovers.
We are committed. Till the end. We gain trust. Their shadows become ours.
When tortured, we #writhe, squeal the fantasy we believe. They think they use us.
We have to feel a high. That's the only problem with us.
#vss365
I see her everywhere.
On empty beaches.
In my sleep.
I have lost every love because of her.
Not every love.
There's one left.
It's the ghosts that aren't ghosts that haunts...#beckons one...to...
#vss365
When others party,
I find ways to get depressed.
So #futile. With you.
#vss365
#haiku #senryu ?
Brahma did not consider himself fortunate with the entrusted task of convincing Siva that his time is up.
Brahma cried,
“For God’s sake, you just #cannot continue like this – every man has to marry, all the other gods have done so and they #cannot let you go free!”
#vss365
I have tried not to venture into the genre of religion and mythology because of three reasons.
This is from the (only?) one I have written: 'Sati and Siva - Love and Frailty'.
https://newnonentities.blogspot.com/2010/06/sati-and-siva-love-and-frailty.html
Got up groggy
Wondered
If I should fight
For no cause any cause
But today
I shall rest
After these foolish lines.
It's that season when I contact long lost people.
I tried three. Said, "Hello."
Responses were:
1: "Who you?"
2: "Ah! The dog in the #manger, huh?"
3: "I still love you."
Checked the profile photos. The last must be a wrong number. The lady does not look stupid.
#vss365
Don't be a poet,
Avoid #convoluted stuff.
Make love and eat well.
#vss365
#HappyHolidays
#haiku #senryu ?
Democracy is the best,
says the bird high,
it swoops down,
picks the flaw,
#hitherto buried,
for all by all of all,
what a joke,
in every constituency,
all for the majority there,
nada for the minority there,
fascists, commies, liberals,
shoo away our nosy bird.
#vss365
There's been no water supply the last 3 days. (19 days or so without water in Nov-Dec, 2023.)
The majority here, by way of religion/caste, get it 24x7. The discriminated have to beg for a drop.
In the best of times, we get water around 4am for an hour. When the majority sleep.
It wasn't a dream.
I could fly
Between clouds
Forgetting all
Below me,
War & death,
Love & such #kitsch,
Politics & such sick,
Money oh yes money.
It wasn't a dream.
I forget what it was.
#vss365
Cursed be this son – victim, vandal or voyeur?
Each fleck of ash from the #pyre be sin’s attire!
Blame the brother – of bondage – that be the mortal excuse!
But seeking no reply – each cry, tear and look forever accuse!
#vss365
from 'Setting' (old one)
https://discardedthoughts-swapna.blogspot.com/2009/07/setting-1992.html
There's not much to #celebrate
When you hear people party
Without a thought for the forgotten
Staring at the sunset till midnight
Remembering the other that lingers
That old party with that one love
Without a thought for the forgotten...
Goodbye, old lingering love.
#vss365
A rainy Sunday,
Yawns good morning, with #loose screw
Tries philosophy;
Why do you like me,
A rhetorical question
Under A-not-Q;
Shifts to prayer mode,
To the many-avatar
There's the usual said;
One more creak and stretch,
It's time to #celebrate life,
To feign great purpose.
#vss365
#haikufeels
#haiku #senryu ?
For the young couple, the trip was ‘fine food, dysfunctional a/c, bad sex’. They studied seasoned couples. "We will be that", they said, renewing their not-#yet-old marriage vows, "to walk hand in hand, when old", imagining themselves in picture perfect postcard scenes.
#vss365
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2012/06/footsteps-in-dark.html
Uncle Hosappan was a communist in 1962. He has two #tomes from those days: 'Relativity and dialectical materialism' and a censored 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer'.
He converted to capitalism in 1973 before his 2nd marriage. He remained a capitalist even after the third.
#vss365
from
https://discardedthoughts-swapna.blogspot.com/2009/11/freedom-in-china-nilekanis-iud.html
"I thought this defect in 2D was a #singularity. It wasn't. It escaped into 3D.
I chased it to curved spaces. There are rules there. Take the hair on your head. Singularities are a must."
My love escaped long before that. Next date, no defects. Hydrodynamics, perhaps.
#vss365
It's dark and raining. I'm by the window in our office. Lashed by wind, branches and rain.
You are startled when you enter. Unsure.
I raise my arm. You slip in. Between me and nothing.
We dream of a future together. Not as the #volant souls we are, before the fall.
#vss365
I could have been better
Not embarrassed you
But you too thought so
When we weren't together
We weren't made for each other
There must be better others
But in the amateur's snap
We are the sublime marred
By that which needn't be there
By that which makes it more so.
#poem ?
'Love's a many splendoured thing';
Try your luck with any other niggle-
ABuse, Caste/Class, Discrimination,
EFfinG politicians of any party,
issue HtoZ in any #vernacular,
outside one's echo chamber;
& your weary mate will say,
"Wtf, talk about bloody love & chill."
#vss365
"Kids, in this first class of sex ed, let's talk about love."
(Silence.)
"Arjun?"
"Love gained
Gives less than love lost-
Poets we become,
Our words welcomed."
"Swapna?"
"The Devil utters not utter #poppycock.
Love is a problem,
With those who will always lose."
#vss365
I used to write for her.
With each word, I bared
Not my soul.
That's easy.
Thoughts, confusion,
Swing from #apoplectic
To numbness,
All so common.
I missed the thought bubble,
"Take it easy,
She can't take
That
You can't take."
She did.
Till she went.
Too soon.
#vss365
Be an #optimist,
#Welcome all the crazy thoughts.
Says the shrink on couch.
#vss365
#haikufeels
#haiku #senryu ?
History books say that a kid caused this. By hitting a button named '#transform'.
It started in 2024.
Memory is out of fashion. No one has it. Some have patches of images. They can't be sure it's theirs.
There are a few mutants with total memory. They are crazy.
#vss365
"Pa, is this your profile for the XY dating app?"
"Yupp."
"Will vacuum, mop, wash dishes, cook chicken, fry potato. Hate BO! Immerse thyself in #lavender oil. Sex twice a week."
"Well?"
"How did you get Ma?"
"She was special. Should I rewrite?"
"Rebirth, please."
#vss365
"Where were you?"
"Wedding in village."
"Didn't your kid have school?"
"Relatives are important."
"Yeah, get her married at 18! Blink and let her future go like #lightning."
"Can't live alone like"
"How much for the ironing?"
"120."
"Not 100?"
"Kid's education."
#vss365
"What are you watching?"
"Branagh as Wallander to counter-#act Branagh as Poirot. You?"
"P0rn."
"Never admit that on a first virtual date. Genre?"
"The carrot and stick #act."
"Huh?"
"How to use the carrot as the stick and vice versa. Old tantric methods."
"Ooh."
#vss365
I am the one I was
With one change perhaps
Wanted her to like me
The way I was then
But then for many years
Forgot who I was
For usual wrong reasons
Like money success
I was liked by many
Till I gave up that
But now I realise
She will never like
Me for the right reason
She is fictitious...
There's an old photo of a young couple. Taken with a camera, with timer, on a tripod.
They are on a bed. She in a silk saree, with a shy smile, a delicate hand on his arm. He in red kurta pyjama, serious, definitely the macho breadwinner who should be in a portrait passed on for centuries.
It should have been a movie. Then, we could have seen the next scene.
"Arrey, get a car from your folks, no? So tired of walking to office."
"Boss, why don't you make sure you will get your family home?"
It's like school days here.
Some don't respond if I am
Not a #sycophant.
#vss365
#haiku #senryu ?
"Kids, when I say #infection (I), what's your first thought? Arjun?"
"As a poet: love, if only I could have that I;
as a storyteller: terror, the I with no cure;
as moi: life is a fictitious I."
"Enough! Swapna?"
"Why is Arjun the source of the I called stupidity?"
#vss365
Rage, insomnia
Kept me on razor's edge,
To get ko-ed,
Or to wait for the next fight,
On the eighth day we got water,
And I'm ready to forgive,
If only it had been
A collective misery,
But the others had plenty,
Us mere schadenfreude-providers,
Discrimination hurts,
Kills.
An Old Western
I am the man with no name, the one in fights, the one no one wants around.
You, the hooker with a golden heart, with scars within and without.
You took the bullet meant for me. Too soon.
I am a living ghost seeking the company of a #venomous rattler.
#vss365
01
It was going like every other date. I was being an ass.
We argued about terrorists who hide behind kids; about the government snooping and going against everything in the #Constitution.
Then, we leaned back and stared at each other.
02
The silent stare, prayer-like, succumbing, seeking, suppressing, a duel of souls #beyond repair.
Let's discuss, no? Without reasonable doubt! That State showcasing its best-why was the stage full of actors, not 1 erudite idiot (they too can act)?
(A Morricone BGM?)
03
"Why do we fight all the time?"
"We are good at it. We were good in other ways too."
"Like what?"
"The kiss was great."
"What kiss?"
"That which does not happen is #entwined with the fate of a relationship rather than that which happens."
"We were young."
04
"Did you love me? I didn't."
"I was young, stupid."
"I was stupid. Never young enough."
"You didn't?"
"I worshipped you."
"That never ends well."
"You were THE idea of THE ONE. Bright, bold, much sought after. A #wisp of love, and lust, would have saved me."
05
"Was it worship when you told me to marry the one I fell in love with?"
"25% principles, 75% revenge."
"The #shepherd taking sheep to the wolf! Me married to one of that faith! God with clay feet, huh? I am not ashamed I have so much to love with the help of hate."
06
"You were mature."
"I cried, protested."
"Of course."
"Sarcasm! Yes, I kept the life of the privileged. Love perches meekly on the #gauntlet of such. Great spouse, kids. No tears, no guilt."
"Marriage works best when both feel guilty."
"For your lot, perhaps."
07
"My lot has the usual tale. Death, divorce, insecurity. In the wrong order."
"#Fodder for your lot's echo chamber. Tell me a story about love, surprise."
"My lot?"
"My lot see further by standing on that large chip on your shoulder."
"Very funny."
"Story, plz."
08
"Love does not surprise me when the circumstances and catalysts are right.
But, when I'm not in love then, there’s a puzzle worth solving. Especially when the setting is good for murder too."
"With you, the ogre of murder always follows the #spirit of love. Go on."
09
"The M.O. is similar to your 'love' life."
"What?"
"Ditched lover bcos of that one's faith. Chose a spouse with same idea of love-hate. Assume your spouse now converts to your ex's faith. #Traumatized, what will you do? Love & hate is like yin & yang."
"Whatever."
10
"The falling in love part was like a trip to an exotic place. Life followed the brochure.
Pointlessness gave way to a new thrill with 2 truths as #talisman and weapon: (1) a lover can hate better than love; (2) who but a lover knows best how to turn love into hate?"
11
12
I am scared to write
What I should not write
Even though I know
No one will read it.
Will my #last words be:
Why aren't idiots scared?
#vss365
Do avoid me when I am
honest
irritating
sensible
tense
obstreperous
recalcitrant
yearning,
ah yes,
the future will decide history,
the past a track
for the present to choose,
to the #lantern far away,
a mirage,
a nowhere we like to call somewhere.
#acrostic
#vss365
"Class, tell me the dictum you follow and the person responsible for that."
(Silence.)
"Arjun?"
"I #wander, and I am always lost. Tolkien."
"You have to make him roll in his grave, of course! How about you, Swapna?"
"I am, therefore I think. Descartes."
"Et tu?"
#vss365
The bereft did not say to the happy couple:
"We aren't unlike,
An aneurysm
or,
A mindless mishap
separates us,
Our gods #see eye to eye,
You could become our doppelganger in spirit,
But then,
One of that double-act
Always dies,
But then,
Why are we
Already erased?"
#vss365
"Love has only one problem. The guy has to know what he wants."
"What do you want?"
"You. I love you, Swapna."
"What do you want, Arjun?"
"Your notes."
"Love has only one problem. Men are like a moth to a #flame, literally not figuratively."
#vss365
I tried to rebel by wearing shorts to Malabar Hotel, braving the rabid on the way unsettled by any bare flesh.
There, that Wednesday, Rajappan and Kutty shared a cutlet. Then, decades #forward, she got down on one knee and proposed to him. We chanted, "Kutty Rajappa".
#vss365
We crossed bridges without reason, stood silent within cathedrals, watched Murano’s glassblowers #shape dreams.
"There is a weird romance everywhere," I said.
She did not respond. We knew it was meant for couples holding hands. Couples like us seemed incongruous there.
#vss365
from my short story 'Touch':
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2013/12/touch.html
Every year, on new moon's day in the fifth month, the kind god of the temple on the hill shares a feast with his dearest sons (and, that role fell on the fatherless).
At 19, I was here.
Today, I am here to hold the #hand of my 4-year-old son. Before he has that feast.
#vss365
from my short story 'The Feast':
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-feast.html
I don't like shadows,
I say to the crow.
#Bear them like memories,
The crow says to me.
We nod sagely
And smother giggles,
We are honest
About all.
We watch the sunset,
Like true companions.
You are bad for love,
We think aloud.
#vss365
For Larkin, sex began in 1963.
For me, chat has gone to RIP.
Emojis, memes, gifs, words,
A senseless scrabble for an ass.
Can't she read my eyes,
Lip read when I can't speak?
All I can offer her is 😊,
Know not what it is,
AI genie calls it:
dic pic from dic hed.
#poem (no!)
My best friend Winston suffers from congenital impersonation of the wrong kind.
He came to school as a #scotsman. Wearing his sister's tennis skirt. Speaking like the queen (those above, rest her soul) with constipation.
He is now a godman with a large following.
#vss365
Along with the first beautiful sight came a bitter thought. He was surprised by the vehemence of that unexorcised #demon.
Like the aftermath of a forgiven extramarital affair, everything will appear fine. But it will never be the same, never forgiven, never forgotten.
#vss365
Just too tired to write!
This is from an old 'travelogue' of mine:
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2011/04/story-tellers-sabbatical.html
"Which do you prefer: digital or #analogue love?"
"Fuzzy."
"Why?"
"It's the imprecise info that matters."
"How?"
"It explains the stuttering progress."
"Are you talking about sex or love?"
"Both."
#vss365
"Be a dutiful descendant," my wife said.
"Oh no, be a good ancestor," my daughter said.
"Be true to yourself," yours truly said. "Forget about everyone else."
For #aeons, the curse
On truthful ones: "Thou shalt face
Two battering rams."
#vss365
#haiku #senryu ?
My dearest Arjun,
Wish you a speedy #recovery.
Love,
Yours,
Swapna
ps. Are you wondering whether you are sick? Or, recover from what? Hope this does not spoil your sweet sleep. Tschuss.
#vss365
"Let me show you around."
"I will see it on my own."
"Do what you want."
He stormed out. She wanted to tell him to stay.
It was a #cosy room. The dark furniture strangely blending well with the chrome AV system and the leather armchairs perfect for a hugging couple.
#vss365
from
an old (long and meandering) short story of mine:
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2012/06/footsteps-in-dark.html
"Kids, where do you see yourself 5 years from now? Arjun?"
"Ma'am, I will be a craniologist. If Hamlet could say so much with one #skull, I will definitely have lots to say."
"Ah! Swapna?"
"Ma'am, I'll be far away from Arjun."
"Class, hush! Stop shouting same here."
#vss365
I was searching for your photo,
The one I will never find.
No, I don't want that photo,
The one with a thousand images.
Let me write these #endless words,
And forget how you looked at me.
A reflection of a passing cloud,
Waiting for the ripple for the end.
#vss365
My first college play was about a killer. Only the director knew who was cast as the killer.
She/he wore a balaclava.
The victims had to read a random text. As if they were #chanting. 5 died that night. Including the director.
From that day, no one there read aloud.
#vss365
There are three stages in AI dating:
1. Logging in is the old foreplay. Usually fast but, at times, it takes time.
2. Romantic #overture, as in non-AI dating, is mostly copy-paste.
3. Climax can't be faked. You know where you have reached, not how long it will take.
#vss365
What do I do when I can't write a few lines?
I mumble along with the ol' Bard,
"When I find myself in times of trouble..."
Or, #laughing crazily, listen to politicians!
That always tickles my Muse.
After deleting the unmentionables,
I have a lovely post saying "WTF!"
#vss365
"What do you do?"
"Study the dynamics at multiple scales, from nanoscopic to mesoscopic and microscopic."
"Ah! You look at the dance of the miniscule!"
"What do you do?"
"I write poetry about love."
"Much ado about nothing...err...the #miniscule?"
"Don't be rude, sir!"
#vss365
"You showed your true #colours. Chameleon!"
"Killing the metaphor?"
"Oooh, I love your lady's fingers."
"Jealous?"
"You had her fruit salad! You who won't touch fruits at home."
"Here, I have you."
"Veg & fruits substitute?"
"You or that?"
"Carry on eating, boy."
#vss365
(In memory of the Carry On series... 🙃 )
