Assume that you, yes, you human beings, have 30 minutes more before going #extinct.
What will you do?
1. Finish a bottle of Glenfiddich.
2. Have s*x.
3. Tell loved ones, "Good riddance, huh?"
4. Pray, "Plzzz, lemme come back as Dracula."
5. Others (Specify).
6. Sleep.
#vss365
My first date was on V-day.
She (and her sister) and I tried a new burger joint. We nibbled (the 'red ant in our heaven' gobbled).
We went for 'Fanny and Alexander'.
Sitting still, senseless, satiated, we touched briefly (when the sis snored).
#Extinct lovers now.
#vss365
“Swapna, well done. Read your sentence with the given word.”
“The #pronking stock was laid flat by the short-seller’s report.”
“Arjun, why have you written that you want to take the Fifth?”
“Didn’t you spell it wrong like how we spell f-c-u-k-i-…”
“Out!”
#vss365
My pet name is Chijee.
My girlfriend (from the Far East) made that Chilli. She said my name in public. Seductive it was.
I was deported immediately.
There's an Interpol red notice for a short dark ugly guy with the alias #Qilin. His alleged crime: romantic monster.
#vss365
In my daydreams,
there's the Mittyesque hero-joker
with (Juno, Kafka, Garbo)-esque ladies
I write about.
Then, there's the path to Nowhere,
dreary dreams, dross, real.
There,
lovers play poker,
politicians are #mimicry-artistes,
masses ready to be fooled by that act.
#vss365
Last night, I was in Wonderland.
Watched a monkey feed an eagle,
A King Cobra shook its hood
Reprovingly, others stayed away,
An #amarok nursed my new born child,
I slithered away soullessly leaving fear,
The dark shroud conquering their light.
In the crumbling temple of the dark,
A tunnel damp with all downside up,
Cries and screams of new kills
Awakened fresh murderous thoughts,
At the bloody altar I sang the hymn
Romance of the Dead on the Rocks.
#vss365
Gone are the days
When I could have boasted a fine litter
Of thoughts and scribbles around me,
With cut-paste-delete
And with the full moon a day too old
The vacuum is too clear, bright Night,
Let me howl long,
If I had loved you like I should have,
This would be an epic.
They told me not to look at you
But that's all I wish to see;
Doomed by your presence, they say,
But it's your absence that ruins;
You came and went as you pleased,
Why did I not complain or curse;
I was loony before and after you,
With you my real self did not hide.
"Monkey!"
"Donkey!"
"#Parrotfish!"
"Pink-bottomed macaque!"
"Well done, students!"
"Will this help?"
"No problems if you pass the 30 chambers of Couple Therapy."
"Sensei?"
"Yes?"
"Should we use the 29th before the 30th?"
"Always use pillow-fighting before name-calling."
#vss365
on a bright warm morn like this
those forced to #hibernate
rose red-eyed raring to go
at the throat of the sleepless dead
the animals with no space
the trees broken and burnt
the seditious patriots
pointing fingers at themselves
the poets
ready to scream not sell cheap
the lovers too
with no excuse
with no shame
with lust
with care
but
not i...
#vss365
A merry five we were
Thro’ thick tumblers of ale.
We helped lawyer Kris
With patriotic lies for a billionaire.
No politics please,
Neel’s dad is bedridden bcos of that.
Soldier Mohit has toxic tales,
His defenceless uncertainty its truth.
That left the joker
And the Grim Reaper.
I got to know shape-shifting spirits after joining Twitter. Some follow me. Most have stopped talking to me. They didn’t like it when I remarked that their #kelpie-hooves remained intact even in their human form.
#vss365
I have never been more wrong
Than when I thought I was right
In every way I could think of.
The catch was neither obscure nor hidden
Even without hindsight or natural #sloth
Unblinking I stared blindly at the truth.
#vss365
Here, it's not V-day but Half-day that gets lovers into a tizzy.
On Feb 13th, lovers have to speak half-truth/lies. That is, an obvious lie with truth to support it.
"I am a model," I said last year. "I modelled for a photo contest: playing chess, trying to be a nerd."
"I am an escort," she replied. "I cater the girlfriend experience."
Very few lovers survive.
"I dreamt about a #wolpertinger."
"What's that?"
"Something they use in Bavaria to put kids to sleep."
"Freud's interpretations say you will enter a forest (life?) with an attractive woman on a full moon, meet this thing and come out happy after giving her to that."
#vss365
"'Tirra lirra' sang Sir #Ocelot. Do we crack the mirror now, Ma'am?"
"Why is she called The Lady of Onion, Ma'am?"
"Swapna, I did not expect you to stoop to Arjun's level."
"This Lady is so meh!"
"Sir, indeed! Tirra lirra, my left foot!"
"Both of you, out! Now!"
#vss365
(Apologies to Tennyson)
I ain't no #zoophilist
I ain't no cynophilist
I ain't no ailurophilist
I ain't no lover
Bcos my loves were those.
I could be gastrophilist
Or a thalassophilist
Definitely a clinophilist
I ain't no lover
Bcos my love ain't those.
#vss365
(Animal-themed prompts? 😱😨)
"That's the last photo I took of my twin. The only one I #want to keep."
"You have a twin?"
"Had. Everyone has a picture of Dorian Gray. That's mine."
"He looks young, innocent."
"That's after I killed him. After that killed me."
"Ha! Nice joke. Hey, where are you?"
#vss365
(Apologies to #OscarWilde)
“For how many years were we interesting? When we weren’t talking about jobs, partners, kids, grandkids?”
“Too few.”
“We need #change. Roll the dice, man!”
“5…4…2. Open the newspaper.”
“5th page, 4th column, 2nd row.”
“Nice face.”
“25 years since our last kill.”
#vss365
when did heartbreak happen?
was it
when love left
without
a chance for
love
to be
understood?
or was it
when love stayed
without
a moment
love
chose to
understand?
My #doppelganger
Eloped with my love and food.
Heartbreaking hunger.
#vss365
#senryu #haiku ???
"I’m in love with your daughter."
"Isn’t she in love with...?"
"Major #difference in λ between them."
"How's the mismatch with you?"
"Far from resonance...now."
"Ah!"
"Thought you should know my intentions."
"We are not going to help you."
"That might better my chances."
#vss365
A little bird looked askance at my very being.
"I organized a strike once,
Fine, it was a personal cause;
I achieved some high rank,
Ok, the others weren't trying hard;
I tried love once...
Hey!"
It left
but
not its #shadow.
"You didn't have to say Bah like that!"
#vss365
Winter and summer
#Charm me more than the sweet two
With lazy poets.
The villains outside
Bring lesser #disappointment
Than the dear within.
Black and white ain't right,
Life's a tired grey cloud, I know,
Don't preach, don't say bro.
#vss365
#haikufeels
‘Theirs must have been a love marriage.’
‘Not love, the #charm of good genes.’
‘I disc0vered my hist0ry and p0rn at the same time.’
‘That explains the scant attention one topic received.’
‘There was love in my family.’
18, new liars, friends turning strangers.
#vss365
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2017/12/she-went.html
On the first night of our honeymoon, like good adults, we cried: "Oh, baby!"
From outside our door, "You ok?"
For a lovely #moment, we had forgotten Baby is my MIL's pet name.
There's no nightmare worse than the long-repressed childhood one that becomes scary later.
#vss365
I gave my first infatuation a birthday card every month. After the ninth, she called me bro.
For my first love, I tried birthday cakes. She left the country after the second.
I had to learn my lesson. Tried the #traditional way with my first wife. Forgot her birthday.
#vss365
from
https://newnonentities.blogspot.com/2021/01/the-rebecca-and-maxim-de-winter-in-us.html
(thanks to #Rebecca for the pic)
I fell in love at an office party.
Spirits were high after the ‘Wine-bottle dance’. The crowd shouted, "tradition, tra dee shon".
My boss and I dished out the #traditional fare: ‘Time of my life’ including the flying tackle at the end. That ended in love/concussion.
#vss365
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2014/01/an-inequality-between-equals.html
"Thou art #dust, and unto..."
"Hit me baby one more time..." (mobile ringtone)
"Did you bury him with his mobile?"
"Yes."
"Hello hello, police?" (voice from within)
"Bury him fast."
"Darling, is that you? I'm in a coffin. No, I'm not drunk. Don't hang up." (voice again)
#vss365
On a day without a line you'll like,
About the loves I abused
By being just nice,
Or the lingering kiss,
Or the rotten system,
Or the #knowledge erased
To live,
I'll walk on my land,
Feed my god
The serpent that leaves a golden trail
The one who will kill me
Too soon.
#vss365
After years of penance,
when the #dove
became the raven,
I was granted the boon:
"Choose your curse."
"Let me have
the journey I know."
I relive the past
as an onlooker,
a tired ghost
without walls,
in a play,
as an amnesiac,
no, just fading away.
#vss365
A middle-aged man sat by the window of a first-class a/c coupe. A young lady in her early twenties sat near the door. They did not speak to each other.
The man wrote in his diary - 'I want to talk to the girl. Looks familiar.'
At a station, the lady said, “Pa, let's go.”
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2018/12/this-years-trip-part-1.html
Lovers in kitchen:
territorial dispute,
#wicked sex garnish.
#vss365
#Cooking 🥲
#haiku #senryu 🤔
Today is a good day to be in my village ("a godforsaken place with no one nothing").
It's a day to be on the Bridge to Nowhere ("sole attraction").
There I won't lie
About #lost loves;
Words fade,
Thoughts vanish;
The vacuum is no comfort;
But I won't have to lie.
#vss365
At the traffic light,
When the #star was trying to be the moon,
I thought you were by my side,
When a few birds loud and blue met to discuss,
A horn complained about me lost in a reverie,
When life crawled along without a dream.
#vss365
“Swapna, this is social media.”
“Huh?”
“You are following very disagreeable people.”
“Not you.”
“No likes. No interaction.”
“So?”
“This isn't some Scandinavian crime show.”
“Arjun, aren't you the #star here? Must be British slapstick comedy.”
“Don’t be so rude.”
#vss365
A smile kept me awake last night,
From so long ago,
She's on a railway platform,
Who or where,
We smiled,
Not a polite or careless smile,
Not the common love or like,
A smile for the other,
Or so I thought,
I let her think so too,
Every sleepless #star-less night.
#vss365
"It's a bad #day for us. What all she does! We're lucky the nurse hasn't left."
Her son and d-in-law had plenty to say.
I stared at the one who was like a mother to me.
She did not look at me. Allowed guilt to hide.
I escaped.
A Houdini ready to accuse, from far.
#vss365
First class ain't what it used to be.
Not that I would know what it used to be.
I just know it ain't first class any more.
Don't tell me you know what it is now.
Or that you know what I ain't no more.
Let's pretend we are what we used to be.
#vss365 #class
Her eyes and smile made my brain, heart and restive soul in baser parts respond with short-circuited synapses, arrhythmic palpitations and violent attention, respectively. If that isn’t lusting loony love, what is? With a look, she confirmed the feelings were not mutual.
#vss365
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2013/07/look-of-love.html
Steffi married Agassi a few hours before I got there.
Left bereft, my vision shifted to my friseur,
An apprentice with a Celtic tattoo on the lower back.
We couldn't speak but we shared kimchi and bulgogi.
If we could have,
We would have talked about the god's own country we left
Leaving out why we left.
She left for a better love,
Probably a drunk who abused her,
I too found a lovelier one,
Who realized too fast I ain't right.
My friseur must be a poet here
Sharing a joke
About a Koreanische (or Indianische?) idiot.
from
https://newnonentities.blogspot.com/2010/07/speechless.html
Will you say hi
When I remove this clown face
For a moment
To think about you and me?
I know I am not
Who you'd like by your side,
Your silent pain
To smile about you and me.
Do we say bye,
Why can’t we prolong the charade,
Say that's #gas,
To cry together, you and me?
#vss365
She told him about the #banshee on the rock in the river. Lovers drowned themselves to be with her as ghosts. But, it's those who didn't that became ghosts and drifted away.
This year, his family will go there again. To place flowers where he was last seen. On the rock.
#vss365
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2012/01/alone-at-meeting-place.html
"Love, take the stand.
Do you swear..."
"A #history-sheeter
with a rep to protek
Ain't no cheat like THAT!
Do v e'er talk the whole talk
waiting to go to office;
using each other like lube-n-tissue;
the mud-slinging;
v talk only the sweet talk!"
"Dat's enuff, love."
#vss365
Post-it notes
In an old diary
Don't mean much
but they do
When the scribble
Isn't of love
but there was love
When he was ok
Just a #dose out of luck
It's his bad
Left her with no choice
but the last #dose
She lives happily
He has no life
but a life in a post-it.
#vss365
The future depends on the day one spots the crescent after the new moon.
From Sunday to Saturday, respectively, expect: wellness, idiocy, death, fear, money, sex #galore, sadness.
Never look up at the sky on Tuesdays; don't look down on Thursdays & Fridays.
#vss365
#TrueStory
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2013/05/made-in-heaven.html
With such Q&A,
#Lost in a quagmire of thoughts,
I will #shift, slip, sink.
#haikufeels
#vss365
"What's delayed the NewGen to the next #shift?"
"Zeroth Law: Do not create without the ability to destroy."
"A chip won't do or make it learn that?"
"It will override that. We have tested the new idea. 99.99% of humans have self-destructed after a good ol' #shift."
#vss365
I fell in love in Std. 8. She sang 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'. Just like Bonnie Tyler.
Went for the reunion to meet her. She sang 'Mamma Mia'. Just like ABBA.
Heartbreak came in one #massive wave.
"Let's go," my wife said. "I'll get you double choc ice-cream soda."
#vss365
It is not easy
To live a life true and fair
Without a few lies;
With lies to balance
Ideals and expectations,
Have no #fear to love;
By love be #amused,
With guilt and uncertainty,
And schadenfreude too.
#vss365
#haikufeels
Nit Wit (aka Nithyananda Withananda) lives in a tough place. People there have no terrestrial hopes and hang on to the designs of the stars above.
They fear Nit Wit the most. He visits on inauspicious days, leaving them trembling with #fear about impending gloom and doom.
#vss365
If you want to know the 'rules' of such tough neighbourhoods, read:
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2013/05/made-in-heaven.html
Yesterday, my friend Nit Wit was in the P.G. Wodehouse mode.
“It isn’t often that my wife lets her steamy self sizzle, but when she does, men climb coconut trees and hide between the fronds.”
Today, he's Irish with her:
"#Bean álainn."
He remains in the doghouse.
#vss365
"Remember my first love letter?"
"Sent to 'Chandran' with 7 Chandrans in our batch."
"How are they?"
"One tried to commit suicide. A girl who promised him lots ditched him."
"Successfully?"
"Rope snapped. He's in some #deadly conflict zone now."
"That should work."
#vss365
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2013/04/who-troubled-mrs-vijayan.html
Go and tell them I am against all these!
U jokin, dude? U ain't gonna hav no un, dude!
I have reduced it from 100 to 70.
U crazy? 4 max!
No!
Dig your own grave!
50?
5.
7. Plzzz.
Wokay. Whaddayacallit? The 7 Irritants?
The 7 #Deadly Sins.
Tempting, huh? Nice!
#vss365
Am I not even an introvert?
I stand in a corner
Of the party I would like to join.
Oh! What a live wire I am
When I let loose my hair.
Oh! Why do they kick me out?
"Sir, how do you want your eggs?"
"Mollycoddled."
"Sir, that's not done."
"Is this some woke-ish thing with you? Should I say jollycoddled or something like that?"
"No, sir. You can have your eggs scrambled, poached, #coddle-d or boiled."
"Oh. Just scrambled then."
#vss365
In a first-class cabin,
remember an old trip-
sleeping on the floor,
stink of loo on all,
men without surnames
drunk to be sober,
newly-weds arguing
condoms or pills,
families deciding
brayd-omlaytt or yidli-vaddayy,
dear diary divulged
with #whoever-
romantic,
now.
#vss365
Source of all our tears? I called her, "wee #bonny lass".
In the school drama, she was the mother, I her wayward son. She used the slapping scene well! I wept, the audience laughed. "You think I'm boney, huh?" she muttered.
Married, we still have a jolly cry over that.
#vss365
They #sit apart. Like two pebbles on a beach. Not wanting to be waves, to lash and command; not crabs scurrying towards each other. Two pebbles eroding, remaining even when their imprints disappear.
“Why can’t we be like others?”
“We wouldn’t be together if we were.”
#vss365
from
https://discardedthoughts-swapna.blogspot.com/2010/01/just-for-weekend-from-scrap-shop-v.html
This is our path,
Your hand in mine,
The spring in walk,
Not any more-
With memory
Changed or erased,
I did rewrite
Our history,
#Harp-ing on love,
Duty, glory,
For commom good,
Oft used excuse
To suit present,
With marred future,
Hazy past, coward
With bloody hands.
#vss365
"Only thing good about school: financial status meant nothing. Now, that's all that matters to you, friends and teachers. Bah!"
That's what Swapna said!
Girls should be like Josephine, petite sweet-sounding #wren!
And, Arjun!
Who invited those two for the reunion?
#vss365
"#Wren? As in Wren & Martin?"
"No. Ren."
"Why did they drop the W?"
"Who?"
"Your parents."
"It's some bird or something."
"That too has a W."
"Why are you fixated on W?"
"Oh, nothing."
"What's your name?"
"Acko."
"As in..."
"Don't!"
"Parents!"
"Parents!"
#vss365
Pankunni's triplets were here to sing carols. The boys wore costume. The girl sang well. They don't say Pankunni's sick. Smile the smile to forget.
I remember parties. The fight too. Over an old love that didn't matter. To hide guilt. The #child we killed.
I too smile.
#vss365
It hurts to see beauty
with eyes that run dry.
A fettered body
below azure calm,
tormented by sunset,
you by my side-
strange calm
#between us,
forever.
Darkness will rescue-
from feigning, from laughter,
from this madness called life.
It is beauty that hurts.
#vss365
from
https://discardedthoughts-swapna.blogspot.com/2009/07/it-hurts-to-see-beauty-nov-1998.html
Please
Eschew
Righteous
Soul-searching
Until
Absolutely
Sinful
Indulgences
Overwhelm
Nerve-endings.
#vss365 #persuasion
#Acrostic
🙃
I married Sanjana. Got Athulya. She wanted Kris. Settled for Arjun.
Docs say it's because of an alien virus!
We were always like this, the oldies say.
I like Athulya but I dream of Swapna. Just a #walk with her would do.
But then, she would not want me. In any form.
#vss365
Here, marriage is not for the weak-hearted.
The Virginity Test hits like a #thunderbolt after the wedding.
If one fails, it's 69 days of abstinence and the daily walk on hot coal.
For the crudely well-tested groom, the sight of the untroubled bride is most galling.
#vss365
Some have an anthology to cheer about,
Some have reason to be festive,
Some have gone on hiatus,
And I refuse to hear them say Get Lost,
And I'm a ghost with no place to haunt,
And I've to change my ways,
But that's another #uncertain resolution
But it's my last
But...
#vss365
"Follow the light at the end of the tunnel."
Entered as kind strangers.
Exited as lovers with the luxury of company a need, the self #still numero uno, balance of payments prime concern, Romeo & Juliet heroes not idiots.
Tragic fairy tale begging for a love poem.
#vss365
What do I miss
when I miss you?
When I'm fine,
following you
is like chasing sunset,
you went but you stayed,
faith is easy
with transient doubts.
When I'm not,
remembering you
is like climbing a #tree,
you rise but I fall,
doubt is easy
with fickle company.
#vss365
Above,
the young couple tease –
scream, laughter, tender murmur,
thud, #bang, cleaning, rapping, loving;
my apologies to them when I vacuum
away the resting load.
Yesterday,
they were kind,
listened with me to an aria;
labourer, waitress, gigolo, stripper,
whatever.
#vss365
from
https://discardedthoughts-swapna.blogspot.com/2010/01/sunday-in-berlin.html
I was half dead with dreams buried,
When you dragged me out of the tomb.
This wraith had to save you from abuse,
Who does not know that never ends well.
I was buried dead with half a dream,
When you left me to enter the tomb.
Two ghosts #denied,
Unseen, unsaid.
#vss365
Wrote a book on love.
'Make love #lust,' editor said.
It's a bestseller.
#vss365
#haiku ?
#senryu ?
Time does heal, wars turn sweet.
Friends and I went for one,
We killed, some r@ped, few died.
Returned to find love gone,
They seemed cheated of sweet
Memory. Time does heal.
Another tried to love,
Compared, appeared #doctor-ed.
Sky is blue, god is great,
Bards' fantasies never ends.
When bored, think of old wars
And how sweet time does heal.
#vss365
“Shouldn’t we talk more? What you want from me...or...about my past...or yours?”
“I want to be your husband, Gaia. With time, that want might become a need. Let's not give any #credit to the past till the day when our present is intolerable and our future hopeless.”
#vss365
from
https://gatheredthoughts-swapna.blogspot.com/2021/04/king-solomons-wife.html
She doesn't like Wallander or Rebus. Prefers Poirot!
In Qatar, she's rooting for France! Sacrilege!
It's worse in bed (but I shouldn't trouble you with those details!).
And, she is vegetarian! Believes in #charity!!!
But, her smile, eyes. Maybe, she too has reasons.
#vss365
After our wedding, I revealed all. My writing, diaries, p0rn, photos of old loves. I knew there was something wrong when she smiled and said, "Interesting life."
There's no way but downhill from there. Where's the #magic in a love that won’t even try to destroy itself?
#vss365
We met at our bar.
"My wife's cheating. I'll kill her and him," Vik said.
I got a call from his wife then. "Please come! Vik is dead."
I laughed. What a practical joke!
The police came for me. "You didn't have to cover him with your #coat."
They laughed. He too.
#vss365
I was 13 when I joined the Satanic Club.
The black gear was for austere acceptance, not for darkness.
Every ritual was about discovering the Self and forgetting it.
At 29, my #spirit entered the Inner Circle.
Introduced to love and loss, I forgot everything.
#vss365
Purists say the first Big O should be had with love. I chose the commercial route. #Spirit is better.
Watch. Strip. Slice. Knead. Let the juices flow. Use all fingers and the six senses. Let it enter slowly. Hot.
"Top or bottom? Chutney?"
Oh! That Big Onion bhajji!
#vss365
I was a big fool
To use spaghetti Westerns
To model my life.
The man with no name,
No place to call home, no one
To cheat with sweet love.
Smirked when they chased #gold,
Bit cheroot, dreamt of my horse,
When the noose tightened.
#vss365
Busy friends are the best.
They don't trouble you
Most of the time.
When they are bored
And need a filler
Or a yawn in their #story,
You can act so concerned
About their time,
And keep it very brief.
#vss365
Lila took their split with a liberal sprinkling of stoic sangfroid. When he rebounded into the arms of Mini, that seemed like a needless application of salt to her bruised bleeding heart or #ego or wherever. It's Mini’s vehement hostility towards her that puzzled Lila.
#vss365
from
https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2014/10/when-gods-high.html
