jester

 

I need a laugh.

A horror flick will do.

I need a smile.

Wipe those eyes sans tears.

I need a love.

Hug loneliness not solitude.

Don't tell me 

I have got it all wrong.

I am a jester

In a tragic world.

rainbow

 

A #rainbow isn't great;

One under the white flag 

Of peace and unity;

Thro' any soul-shredding prism:

Religion, race, caste,

Money, power, ideology;

How we show true colour;

How we weep 

When some kids are killed,

How we sleep

When some kids are mere numbers.

#vss365

mystery

 

At 6 am: Poirot, Holmes, Miss Marple and I were seen leaving the resort in a four-seater #paddle boat. 

At 7 am: only three were in that boat.

I chose to sit with the driver of the tow truck after an hour with those three begging for a mystery.

#vss365

Tale of Many Towels

 

Now,

They say 

The yellow towels 

Came first;

Which came next, 

The black or the saffron? 

The blue and the white?

There will only be red

Before the gory end.

Once upon a time,

That space

Was for new ideas.

Now, 

a battlefield

Of old texts 

In filthy towel.

what you want

 

"Tell me what you want."

She smiled (teased?), "Find it for me."

The wild fire rages.

lullaby

 

(Dark bedroom.)

"I need a lullaby, Swapna."

"Sleep well, my love,

tonight you and I

are safe together.

Let me watch you,

in child-like..."

(Swapna gave something a #swat with the anti-mosquito racket.)

"Oww!"

"Mosquito!"

"My nose! It's bleeding!"

"Arjun, sleep!" 

#vss365

ideal situation

 

"What's that wrapped in plastic, on the conveyor #belt?"

"Arjun."

"Swapna, why did you?"

"It was his idea. Cheaper than flight ticket, he said."

"But..."

"I never argue about an ideal situation."

#vss365

Eternal Promise

 

A Devil's staircase,

It's like the path to heaven.

Eternal promise.

Dead Words Society

 

My college gang formed the Dead Words Society.

Stuprate, #larrup, love...

If the others were alive, I could have told you the rules.

Our end started with love. 

The girl's folks used those words. The whole village.

Lynch, was that there? 

Sneak, for the one alive?

#vss365

secular rupture

 

"Class, give me a sentence with #larrup?"

(Dead silence.)

"Arjun?"

"The danger society faces now is secu larrup ture."

"Keep standing. Swapna?"

"The teacher larruped Arjun properly."

"Good."

"Teacher's pet...larrup...sluurppp...butter..."

"Loserrr..."

"You two get out."

#vss365

naked truth

 

'Bangalore Days', a 2014 Malayalam movie, reveals the #naked truth about my life. In that movie:

a bumpkin, literally & figuratively, 'falls' in love;

a rebel with no cause finds meaning in life via social media;

a guy with lost love marries a girl with lost dreams. 

#vss365

phases

 

Every phase in life 

A race on a Mobius #strip.

I end upside down.

#vss365

honeymoon

 

For our honeymoon, I went to Tibet and my wife went to a #strip club in Vegas.

#vss365

bare

 

My soul I lay #bare,

That's a common barter.

Just a selfish matter,

Secrets are tough to bear.

That's the problem

With most good deeds.

Just ask if it needs

One to pawn freedom. 

#vss365

sorority

 

To understand how I became the leader of a #sorority, during the Covid lockdown, my resume should suffice. 

Under 'Education', the main accomplishment is 'Monitor in Girls' Convent'.

'Extracurricular activities' too must have helped. 'Lady character in all school plays' and 'Poetry award for the best woman writer'. What could I do if the judge of the online contest thought I was a woman and fell in love with me?!

My DP too must have helped. Especially the long lashes.

#vss365

A Cloistered Life

 

I had 

A cloistered life.

In school

No one 

Dared

To ask 

Religion

Or 

Caste.

My young one

In primary two

Asked me

If she's a Thiyya,

A Sunni, a Nadar

Or Amethyst

(Atheist?).

I don't know,

I replied.

But I have to

show 

I have freedom

to show

I have no freedom,

she said.

Fifth Wave

 In the fifth wave,

The kids fell.

Demon virus 

Had waited, 

Perfected 

Its last act.

Even the parents

Were fine with that.

People have to live!

With the stock markets

Booming,

The singles and couples

Holidaying

At Machu Picchu.

Lovely photos

They had.

None

Of small coffins.

V-day Pledge

 The V-Day Pledge:

"I will not be cynical

Till midnight of 14th.

I shall #thrust err trust my love.

To "I love you", no "What do you want?".

No "Jealousy is Love's soul-mate".

No "Love is great for the rich".

No curses on the 15th.

No request for refund/replacement.

#vss365

simple choices

 The tango class turned out to be a war of attrition.

First month, I did only exercises.

Second, I was put in a class with only men.

Third, I was made to choose: the curvy buxom one or the silent one. 

Life is full of simple choices and disastrous consequences.

#vss365

Borrowed from one of my short stories in the V-day collection 'My Unfunny Valentine':

https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-unfunny-valentine.html

Attrition

 "Google says: #Attrition is the proportion of reported sexual violence victimisations that do not progress through the criminal justice system to a conviction."

"Look at the police! When the culprit is unconnected..."

"Pass the eggs."

"One look at Google and you..."

#vss365

waiting

 

Marriage has a certain symmetry, Sheila thought. At the start and at the end, one says, "Yes, I do."

She walked slowly from the Court to the exit. 

Sheila felt a hand on her arm. It was Ashok’s daughter. Her father was standing near a car.

‘Aunty, we have been waiting...’

Borrowed from my short story 'The First Lover':

https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-lover.html

boundary

 

The climax was #brutal.

"Show some guts!"

That wasn't all. 

“You don’t respect boundaries.”

“What boundaries?”

“That I am his and he is mine.”

“You are Anu to me. I don't want you to be mine. I don't want to be yours.”

“That will be the story of your life. Not mine.”

#vss365

From my experimental rather long short story 'Virgin Territory':

https://newnonentities.blogspot.com/2020/02/virgin-territory.html

gang

 

Our gang was called 'The 16th Company'. Don't ask me why! We were ten at first (two died).

Eclectic, were we? School dropouts, black sheep of the family, brawn and no brain?

Sons of the landlord, the nouveau riche, the untouchable, the dirt poor, the anything.

One had a Bullet bike. One was religious. The polite softspoken one had the best story. He rarely folded his 'mundu' (dhoti) but when he did, what a fight it used to be!

Our parties were famous. We drank liquor (army grade), smoked beedi (local cheroot), cooked tapioca and fiery meat, brooded, never sang, slept under the sky. We stole the tapioca from our fathers, auld lang syne.

For the rest, we worked on someone's land, not for someone. Bare beasts of burden without master. Seamus Heaney got it right in 'Digging'. Almost. For us it was sex, macha! That tryst with soil. The mutual respect and the unsaid, the untamed and the tamed, the sweat and the tears, tender and rough, selfish and altruistic, the end was the start, edging forever, she laughed cried bled, us too, never sure if it was alright.

Then, we married. Only the religious one invited the gang. A short affair with his parents and hers and us. A vada at a tea-shop along with lime juice.

When we found love, we forgot 'The 16th Company'. 

And her.

not really #storytelling

family drama

 

She married at sixteen, went from village to foreign land, too young for #pangs of what-not. 

He cooked a dish. She frowned. He threw it out. She frowned at their folks. He gifted a saree. She threw it out.

In my family's drama, my role: wait outside for thrown stuff.

#vss365

battle-weary

 

‘Are you married?’

‘No.’

‘Will you marry me?’

The first time, we were young and dreamy. It would have worked if we had got past that obstacle. 

The second time, I was battle-#weary. Demons within tripped me. 

This time, I am sure she would be better off without me.

#vss365 

Borrowed from my 'very' short story/note 'This Time':

https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2015/06/this-time.html

how love dies

 

In college, during a counselling session for the #lovelorn and "how love never dies", the counsellor pointed at someone at the back,

“Interesting question. They ask if there is anyone here who actually believes that love never dies.”

We couldn't see them.

#vss365

Borrowed from my short story 'Love Dies':

https://newnonentities.blogspot.com/2010/09/love-dies.html

godforsaken

 

A dirty thin girl with no smiles no tears found me in a #godforsaken place. She never talked. She dragged me by my ear. She limped. I kept going up and down because of that limp. We crawled into holes at night. She was scared of everyone. I tried to tell her it’s not all that bad. She was staring at me when we were blown to bits.

#vss365

Borrowed from my 'very' short story 'The Stuffed Toy's Story':

https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-stuffed-toys-story.html

the woman he saw

 

He met her for the first time after a late-night #revel. He walked with her to her house.

He returned a week later. A lady in her forties invited him inside.

He saw a photo of the girl. 

The lady smiled.

"Twenty years. How time flies. Wish I was that young again."

#vss365

Borrowed from my short story 'The Woman He Saw':

https://justoneavatar.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-woman-he-saw.html